It’s not like God does not have a home so why he still watches people had always been a mystery to me. I had listened to all the sermons about “the ever watchful eyes of God,” I used to laugh about it even though I secretly wanted to see how that would work out. Seemed like what only a perv would do, in my opinion. Doesn’t he see all the crazy things we do in private?
I mean how would he survive? My typical day was never predictable, one minute I would be shoving New testament pocket Bibles into people’s hands at the parent’s church event, the next minute I am at Quillox tapping a stripper’s backside.
“Give me a bottle of big stout,” I hollered at the barman. It was a cold evening after a long week at work, the year was truly winding down. The club music was tuned so high that my request was merely a hand gesture and I had to mouth my words.
Across the dance floor, she caught my eye and I almost stumbled off my stool. I had taken one bottle before but that had never been enough to get me tipsy. I blinked and looked again and sure as the day it was my boss twirling on the Pole!
“She’s hot right?” A man had taken the bar stool next to me. I gave him a quick once-over and nodded before looking back at the figure that had webbed me like Spiderman. She was no longer in suits, all the elegance and flesh that she had been hiding came out in full glory.
Who would have thought my boss was not just the best lady banker in the South West, she also knew how to seduce a pole! I shoved the empty bottle past the stranger’s hands which seemed uncomfortably close, wait he had gotten so close to me.
“Dude! Where is my space?” I yelled into his ears, I was already tipsy and didn’t care about being rude. “I thought you needed to talk to me,” he replied. I sat back a bit to have a better view of his face. Scruffy dark brown hair, heavy moustache and a twinkling eye that annoyed the heck out of me in the moment. I hissed and tossed the bartender his cash, I started to pick my way through the crowd.
Prisca would have to explain how we both work in the same office January to November and she gets to run up and down a pole in December. Maybe in my loft apartment, she would find it more comfy to chat in the serene space I had created for myself alone. It won’t be anything serious, maybe she would just be the Christmas fling and keep my bed warm at night after all those hours of pretending to sing Carols and hymns. I always had to join the Christmas events with my parents, they lived on the other end of town but would not let me rest I didn’t show up at least once a month and on festive times like this.
Prisca walked up to me and grabbed my arm, we walked in silence till we were out in the street. I flung open the door of my car and she dragged me in, following up with heavy breathing and kisses. I was already too drunk to ask questions, I simply helped her along. She was mostly naked, her breasts were in my face as I pulled off my trousers, I could feel her warmth and the wet fluids running down her thighs. She rubbed against me while I pulled my shirt.
“Shhhh, don’t say anything,” she placed a finger to my lips.
Well, hell yeah! I thought. I’m going to get down on this one, my lucky holiday!
“You seem to be enjoying yourself fool!” A familiar voice said from the front seat, I looked at Prisca, her eyes were shut, she could not have said that. I looked up and saw him sitting there smug, giving me a deriding look. I pushed off from under Prisca and opened my end of the back seat.
“What the hell are you doing in my car?” I grabbed my balls with one hand and my head with the other, I didn’t notice Prisca come out to my side, she tapped my face as I yelled.
“Hey! Dotun! Who are you talking about?”
I looked at her face and back to the car, he was there but she asked me again and it dawned on me. “Wait, so you are telling me you can’t see that man,” I said to her. I quickly composed myself and pretended I was not seeing anyone. “Hahah, maybe it was the drinking. I should be heading home now, I have had enough for one night.” Prisca had ordered an Uber taxi on her phone, she was clearly pissed but remained silent as I pulled on my clothes in the back of the car. I kept one side of my eye on Scruffy hair, whose twinkling eye had grown a bit larger and I could see mischief in his eyes.
I drove home quietly, telling myself it was all hallucinations. I needed to take a cold shower and sleep it off. I took the stairs this time, I needed the adrenaline rush to get my head cleared. It was airy in the stairwell, I felt a bit better and clear-headed as I climbed higher. He was there on each landing where I would stop to rest, his sky blue shirt crisp and unruffled. I realized I didn’t even notice his dressing at the bar. All that was missing was a jacket and suit piece and he would have fit in a conference Hall.
I walked past him, through the hallway and slammed my door behind me. “Boom!” he yelled at me, “ahhhhh!! Who the fuck are you?” I screamed and ran into my bedroom. Everything went quiet, I sat behind the door and listened then peeped through the door joints and it seemed I was alone. I hurriedly peeled off my damp clothes, I had sweat a lot from climbing the stairs.
“This drinking is getting too much, see how I started my holidays,” I muttered to myself all through a quick shower. I walked out with only the towel around my waist, I felt the warm rug under my barefoot and looked out from my loft over the quiet night. The streets still had a lot of movement and sound, it was nearing Christmas after all.
I got to my bed, switched on the bedside PC and tucked in for a movie. My hand had found my crotch a few minutes in, it was a romantic drama series and I was starting to regret not closing on Prisca’s “quickie in a car” offer. The guy in the movie had found his girlfriend kissing her best friend, they had come to a truce on the condition that it became a threesome.
“That’s pretty steamy in there, you think?” his voice broke my reverie, I knocked over the mouse in my hands and froze.
“Chill man, why are you so stiff. Relax, it’s me. God.”
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