My name is Jonathan and I consider myself one of the most discriminated humans living in the twenty first century. Evil is a constant.

I am Nigerian and I am Skinny.

Today I visited an Indian Doctor at Hatfield, Pretoria and the first thing he said is “You are Nigerian, so you gonna pay me with drugs? Ahh! I am joking!” Very inconvenient joke I must say but that’s my payment for being a Nigerian.

South Africa is a good place but when it comes to making jokes, they suck. They tell you how they actually think about you -probably something bad- and then they add that they are joking. So now every Nigerian is a drug peddler; says the Indian Doctor living in South Africa where he is probably a firsthand victim of discrimination.

I have heard that Indians are rapists and drug users too, so I should have said so to him and added “I am joking.” Since here in South Africa it’s like people don’t understand that when you make a joke, it’s supposed to be obvious.

The medical aid which I paid for from my nose, is compulsory for all foreign students including Nigerians who are little different from South Africans. The medical aid is crap from what I hear and I am sure they also know I am Nigerian and “probably a drug peddler” maybe that’s why they refused to send my medical aid card to me as agreed. I will have to pay this Indian Doctor by Monday with cash that I don’t have and from what he said, it may take another century to get my claim back.


After announcing what was wrong with me, the Doctor gave me some drugs and warned that I must eat before taking the drugs. He said “You look skinny, either because you don’t have food or you are just skinny.”

Listen dudes, there are Fat humans, Average sized humans, Skinny Humans and so on and so forth. Read that again and get used to it. One thing that pisses me off is when a girl I like cannot get her mind to move past the fact that I am skinny.

I have had jokes thrown at me like “are you sure you don’t have HIV?” Wait, how does one get HIV when all the girls with HIV already think you have HIV? That was a joke! But you get what I mean.

I am skinny not by a fault of my own, my body structure is far from perfect for those who have seen me. You would notice it seems I limp slightly, it’s not from an accident, I was born that way. I also have many funny things that are not “right” about my looks but so does everyone. If you looked around you, there are at least a hundred people who don’t like you just because..

So when next you see a skinny person, talk to your brain and let it instruct your mouth and mind. Cause soon enough, I will be punching some doctor’s face after he treats me. That was a joke! I am joking!

The other consultant at the GP office talked about his Nigerian Doctor friends and he is not the first person telling me that a lot of their great doctors here are Nigerian. But you know what? Chuck that! Nigerians are drug peddlers.

You somehow understand the fact that evil thrives more than good and that maths does not help you. If the world has more evil and good to a ratio of say seventy to thirty, does that not tell you that Nigeria would have a lot of bad people? We are a hundred and seventy million (170M) people for crying out loud! Divide that with the ratio of seventy to thirty.

That’s about one hundred and nineteen million (119 M) evil people identifying as Nigerians. I am not saying that is the true ratio but this simple mathematics should let you see that your country or wherever you are has probably just as many bad people as in Nigeria. You just don’t have as many ambassadors of evil registered under the same passport as good humans.

When next you see a good Nigerian, put some respect to their moral choice to be good. You can’t call yourself good when evil is probably sparsely distributed in your area. We Nigerians have every reason to be part of that seventy percent; we have probably one of the most unstable polity, one of the worst infrastructural provision worldwide, nobody hands anything to us, evil has great incentives in Nigeria and so many of us choose to be good in the midst of that crap!

The least you can do when you meet a Nigerian is to shut your big mouth and keep your annoying jokes to yourself. If you have a good Nigerian as your friend or Neighbour, go give them some worship for living above. Yes it’s not your fault that Nigeria is a mess, but it is your fault when you allow your Buccal cavity to ride your humanity and sensitivity.

No one chose to be Nigerian or Skinny and no one deserves to be discriminated against for such. This is for my new SA friends on here and everyone who needs a brain reset about how to treat foreigners. Unfortunately when most of these Indians and Lebanese set foot in Nigeria -so long as you look different- my people will be busy licking your as* and making you feel like the world is at your feet. You don’t deserve it.