So I am sitting here, watching the sunrise and thinking of the relationship that almost destroyed me. I have not slept a wink all night, stayed up working on my first novel. As I watch the sun rise, I think back on the previous months, and realize, how I have come a long way from the broken doll into the confident woman I am today. A friend i met sometime last year said “You are no longer the vulnerable lady i met”.
So sometime in 2015,I got into a relationship with this guy that was my classmate back then in the university,it was a very casual relationship,very relaxed,no pressure. You know how we humans love this kind of relationships, we start catching feelings…and we had sex, and i fell pregnant.Suffice it to say, it was a very unexpected turn in the relationship. At this point, i was neither pro-choice, nor pro-life, i was just a girl who had never fallen pregnant before, a girl who had her life mapped out, a girl who had degrees to acquire before meeting Mr right or probably dragging Mr left to the right… daddy’s perfect girl.
We both weren’t planning for a baby, but we reacted differently; while i had to pull up my big girl pants, he was peeing in his knickers. So my ex,yes we broke up, wanted an abortion.He was working in a big company like UniCem and he was being paid well, so yes, he was very capable of raising a child. But, i guess it was not the finances he was scared of, he was just scared of being responsible. I had a different choice, I did not want abortion, not because i was pro-life, or religious or i had a principle about that. I was just damn scared,I had this horrible imagination of a D and C, and i could not imagine myself being poked like that,all because i wanted my life to go as planned? No Sir.
For months we went back and forth, at a point he wanted or pretended to want the baby,we began to plan for the baby. I was ready to put in not just mother-care,but also financial support into this co parenting thing. Then, I had no job, but i was a freelance writer,though i was still depending on my parents,i was ready to be independent, get a job and be a big girl. Then suddenly one morning, he woke up and said he did not want the baby, he said I had to abort the child whether I wanted to or not. He gave alot of reasons why I had to consider his request, uppermost were my parents.
My parents were Deeper Life members, and disciplinarians. Though as we got older, my mother became more liberal, but my dad was still the ‘soldier’ that he had been. I kept thinking of what my parents would do if they found out, and the shame it would cause them in their religious circles. My ex knew this and strung that cord as much as he could.
But there was something he did not factor in, in his petty manipulation game; how determined and dogged I could be.